woke up early today..cz later mtg pc to go down siglap to transfer sometings over..miss the ppl there too...take this chance to visit them..hehe..
yesterday night..i was ver pissed off with that new malay part timer..Ayu..she think she is azman's friend then she can play around..i dun like to work with her oh..she can go smoking for super long de loh...another whom i asked to go buy suger already come back liao..can she is nt back yet...then she slacking around de loh..dun work de..
then last night the team was nt good..they dun work de..ver slack de..so i was quite pissed off with them for a while..
but then after a while ok liao..then after closing..i n rachel n the kitchen staffs took potos together..we took lots n lots of pics..haha..nt nice..take again ..again..
yesterday..i bought durian paste which i made at hm for them to eat..they said nice..hehe..so glad to hear that...
I went off @
12:37 AM
met up with sharon n glenna yesterday night..we realy gt alot to catch up with each other..each other's relationship...individual's problem(work n relationship)...i wore the tub that i bought with rachel that day to meet sharon n glenna..cz i felt that thats is only chance i can wear nice nice..cz everyday work i wear working uniform..wear until sian liao..so when gt the chances to go out..i will wear nice nice..heheso they were quite shock when they saw mi wearing tub..cz its the first time i wear tub..haha..i becoming more n more da dan...we went to marina sq first..cz i wanted to c how it had become like after renovation..when we gt there..wah..many new shops n more n more like far east shopping center liao..but it diffcult to find the exit out..haha...then at last we came out from the exit near the hotel there then we cross over to suntec cz more things..
we had pizza hut for dinner..while eating ..we talk abt alot of things...alot alot...sharon had her fav nachos n mi n glenna had oreo cheese cake.haha..
we were all ver full ..hehe..then we decided to walk to raffles place n sit near the singapore river there n chat..the feeling was really ver good..they helped mi to called Andrew but he never pick up..but instead msg sharon asking who actually is she...but at last we dun noe hoe to reply him liao..cz my main thing is to know whether is he back already or nt..cz i m ver scare that wat if he is back already but never contact mi..even though he said in the mail that he will be back by the begining of next month...hope so he really call mi by next 2 weeks or so ba..i really dun wan to give up on him...really..unless he really say to mi that he no longer love mi then i know that no point being sad for this relationship liao..but now he never say anyting..therefore i still hav hope in him..i become so soft n weak esp on relationship but towards work n other stuff i know i m strong...
glenna also shared her story on relationship n work life...n sharon abt her working life too..really ..working life is so different from school life...i really miss the times that we r in sch...gers..miss u gers...
too bad deb n ting cant make it...gers ..next timeu two muz try to make it k..
pc:
dun worry .u will sure be confirmed de lah..maybe my is too eary only..but urs will be on the exact day..maybe u will get the letter n 1st july...k..dun worry ..
i gt faith in u ..maybe he(ah fei) is those quiet type thats y i cant joke n play with him as how i joke with sunny they all. hiaz..he is jus too quiet ba..
as for her..i will keep to myself de ..k dun worry ..
deb:
ger..we muz really meet up more often..esp u r going overseas soon..we muz treasure the time now...
rachel:
ger..so sian ...everytime u work.i m either working morning or midshift..no chance to work together with u ...hiaz..so hows thing s between u n S?hope everything is ok..sis forever,..u r like like my sis..
I went off @
1:27 PM
few days never update my blog liao..lets start from thurs..meet up deb for lunch..she purposed to meet i n pc at 2pm..cz my break is at 2pm n pc starting work at 3pm..so pc came at 2pm so that we 3 could hav lunch together..but at last deb reach around 2.30pm..but i n pc decided to go to yoshinoya to eat cz the staff meal that day was nt nice...then i n deb caught up with each other life...we chat for quite long..cz we hav nt seen each other for long time liao..n we had lots n lots of things to talk abt...
then yesterday...i went with my mum to jb to look for my cousin...then we also went shopping..hehe..but did nt shop much cz her children was also around n with young kids around ..its ver hard to shop de...but i managed to buy a 3/4 pant..haha
I went off @
12:26 AM
jus came back from work..working morning these few days..quite tiring..
alot of ppl think why m i in this line as i gt a diploma n i should go for a better job,..those office hour job..but for myself , i dun think it this way..i feel that i should go for my dream..my dream is to open my own bakery shop or cafe...n the only way to achieve my dream is to work in the service line n start from the bottom ..so that i will learn more things n gain experience..in order to hav my own shop n be the boss , i need to hav yrs pf managment expriences first..so that i will know how to handle stuffs like complains n stock taking ..etc...i feel that everyone hsould go for their own dream...n goal...
tomorrow deb is coming over to HFCC to look for pc n mi..oh ye..we can hav lunch together...during my break time...so excited to c deb..long time hav nt seen her liao..
i gt my confirmation letter last thurs..i was so happy when i received it..i will continue to work hard de...pv\c..i m sure u can do it too..lets work hard together..give each other supports...
I went off @
7:28 AM
finally back from church camp..its was fun..we wasn't really overall incharge of the camp ..we were jus incharge of all the games..the 2 highlight was the amazing race n the telematch..they love the amazing race but nt the telematch cz they said that it was too dirty..oh no..telematch is like that de loh..aiyo..
miss work...dun noe hows things these few days..hope everything was fine..sian ..working morning tomorrow..
u noe wat..i jus received andrew's mail..he said he will be back real soon..wah!!! realy happy to hear that...
I went off @
12:26 PM
tomorrwo is the yearly children church camp liao...hope this yr will be ver fun cz its a combine of other church n ours...hope the children will gt to learn alot of useful things..n for us th leaders , we could learn smtg new from the others teachers too..
today working closing..thats y gt time to come online..wah..there will be managment trainees coming down to HFCC for 3weeks..from today onwards..no slacking for 3weeks liao..haha...
this mth 28th , i will be completing my 3mths probation..hope it goes well..n i can past the probation..i m waiting for that day to come..hehe
deb:
wah..ur work place realy so bad,..treat u so bad..poor ger...hmm.u sure can find a better job de..dun be sad k..keep going...u hav my support..jia you...
I went off @
2:09 AM
my parents r coming back tomorrow..miss them..feel wired without them at home..
these 2 days i supposely changed my shift with azman so that i can work night shift n i will be able to c him more..i know i n him is impossible liao..but at least we r stilll friend...
its 5th of june today..6mths ago..on 8th dec 2004 andrew went overseas..n so after 6mths..on the 8th june 2005..andrew should be back..but i m nt very sure..cz he had nt msg mi for half a mth liao..maybe his project is ending thats y more busy ba..hope i could receive his call soon..hearing his voice that he is back..even though i develop true feelings for ah fei..but come to think of it..i cant c a future with him if we r really together..but for andrew , i could..i mjus need some strength to forget abt ah fei..but i scared its abit diffcult cz i will hav to c him everyday at work..
PC:
wah..u really super... after one training camp ..follow by a chalet..hope i dun c a panda tomorrow ..hehe..jus joking..hav more rest b4 u go work k..i that day one night never sleep already ver tired liao..somemore u r in a training camp..
Rachel:
i understand wat u mean..but jus for ur case..nothing can change the fact already liao leh..how i also hope that "S" is single..but at least he do show concern to u..send u hm n many other things..anyway..u dun think too much..jus remember that to slowly let go since she is coming to singapore next week..control ur feeling loh..maybe if u spend more time with ur bf..u wun think of "S " so much liao..
Sharon, deb n glenna:
dun worry..i will keep reminding myself of wat i had promise myself..oh..sorry..i hav so busy with my work..no time to meet up..y not after the 15th june..deb also can liao..k..oh ya gers..i m intending to book a chalet from 12-14th aug..hope u all will make yourself free on that few days...
I went off @
2:34 PM
everything is back to normal for mi liao..cz last night i msg ah leong saying that " i know that u r serious abt this relationship bt r u willing to commit into it n give some of ur time to mi?because i hope to make things clear between us before continuing. I c no point if only one party wan to commit n the other dun wan to." Then he replied: " too much u thing. more u wan i cant give. so here wat to say we better be good friend. stop be couple. stop thinking n asking" " i nt is ur man is u wan. i only know to hard working i don't know abt love.i give up n serender. hope u can find better than me." " that night i dunk n feel lonely i wan to wit some body talk. i very so sorry"
ANOTHER JERK!!!
treat mi as wat man..really..all guys r the same...hiaz..tired of them liao..
y y ..y i muz trap into it again...thought i told myself to be independence n forcus on my work n nt relationship anymore...oh no..
ok ...REALLY..FROM NOW ONWARD I MUZ DO WAT I PROMISE MYSELF...i will now as treat them all as jus friends...
god..help mi to do so ..give mi the strength to do so..
PC: thanks for ur listening ear n advice last night..
i somehow felt relief now...at least everything is nt in a mess liao...back to square 1...
I went off @
12:48 AM
its june now..wah..so fast..this month 28th..i will be confirm as a full time staff at coffee club liao...its really fast..
working here is fun but it times its nt cz of money prob...but now getting lesser liao...cz the guy was already sacked off liao..
last sun, the whole group of us from coffee club went out(i,rachel, dorcas, minghui, ah fei, ah leong, gerld, n sunny)....we went to eat at cafe cartel then we walked to suntec to sing kbox..we sung till abt 2am..cz there is no reservation after midnight so they let us sing till 2am loh..then we went to a pub at boat cray(desire pub)...cz we dun feel like going hm..n thats the only pub which open till 6am...but only i , rachel ,sunny, gerled n ah leong went clubing only..the others went hm at around 12am...we really had a fun time that day...i really enjoied myself too...i drink quite alot that day..cz in the kbox they ordered 8jugs of beer n only 5of us drinking..i drink abt 3mugs.then in the pub i still drink abt 2mug( 1 beer n 1 black)... oh no..i m getting more n more wild liao...ok..i need to stop drinking liao...need to control myself...
alot of things happened to mi that night too..really..alot of unexpected things...unbelieveable things...i didn't want it to happen de..but everything jus came to naturely..maybe part of the reason is cz at kbox i m already sian n dizzy liao..then i jus wanna find someone to lie on to ...then that time docas n ming hui already went hm..n rachel n sunny was sitting together (lovey)so i did nt want to disturb them also...then b4 that i n ah leong was chatting abt work matters..n he was also sharing to mi abt his life n ambition. ..then i jus listen loh...i also dun noe why ..as we talked ..we jus gt closer...then i suddenly jus lie on his shoudler cz i jus need a short rest...then he suddenly hold my hand...n jus comfort mi...i also dun noe why i did nt reject at that time..maybe i was too tired to react..then we gt even closer after that..we continue talking ..when i m ok..i started singing again..n he let go my hand...when we were at the pub..we danced..realy dance loh..then when we were tired..we sit down n drink...chatted.. n i n ah leong became even closer at a time...jus like a couple...after clubbing..we even went to eat breakfast n he sent mi hm after that..he is realy a caring guy..n is a guy who will think of the future de..when u slowly listen to wat he want to say n wat he actually thinks..actually he is nt bad...he even told mi..now we r together..hope i will tell him wat m i thinking n dun keep everything to myself ..nt good..then hope that i will understand that he neeed to work alot...he even asked will he affect my work or nt cz we will be seeing each other at work everyday..he even insisted to send mi hm by taxi cz he scared if take mrt i wun hav enough time to sleep when i gt hm..but at last we still took mrt hm cz we waited for ver long but no cab at all...
BUT i somehow regret wat i hav done that night..actually at first i sit close n talk to ah leong was jus to qi ah fei n test whether will he get jealous or nt ..n hope he will..n he will find a chance to sit with mi but at last he did nt ..after he came back from outside there was actually a big space between i n ah leong loh..but he did nt take the chance to sit..i already given him so many chances liao..but he dun treasure.. n after that night he msg mi saying
1. "wah , u so fast forget abt mi already. i zhu fu u n ah leong",
2. "yesterday night seeing u n ah leong holding hands, i felt ver uneasy n unhappy but now ok liao.i can c that u like ah leong, last night u two muz hav a good night together ..seeing u happy ,i m happy",
3. "now say wat also no use liao,i admit that i did love u b4, i also admit that i did thought of to patch with u but seeing u two like that last night i give up already cz i really cant accept it..accept the fact that u two holding hands.."
4. "that night after i left, i dun noe wat happen to u two, i also dun wan to know n there is nothing much to say now..i zhu fu ni men"
5. "wo men yi jing jie shu le. but i wun forget the times that we r together..i will yong yuan fan zai xin li"
6. " its impossible that we patch back now cz i really cant accept wat happen that night.."
7. "u dun blame yourself, yao blame de hua blame mi, blame mi for nt treating u good last time, i did nt sleep at all that nigt, its my first time, we r still friends . the last thing i wanna say is sorry"
i realy dun noe wat i did was right or wrong..i think i muz hav hurt him deep by being close with ah leong...sunny n rachel n glenna said that its good to let him hav a lesson.who asked he dun treasure mi last time...n move on with my life..n if ah leong is good to mi..then go for it..n they felt that how can he push mi away when he hav no feeling for mi n now jus wan mi back like that...who knows he will really treasure mi ..maybe they r right..hiaz..let things goes naturely now ba..
PC: ger..sorry..i dun noe whether will u felt hurt or nt..after hearing these things..esp abt i n ah leong.if u r..sorry...
I went off @
1:24 AM
